When I Was Supposed to Be Listening

Here are all the things that I scribbled when I should have been deeply focused on something else.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Ala-Khazam Brownies

I have not been cooking long and have been blogging for even less time. However, there is someone out there who thinks that I CAN cook/bake and has sent me a delightful recipe to tryout.

And I have done so!

So, as the faithful folklorist that I hope to become, I will transcribe this recipe exactly as it was given to me by the talented and wonderful Ms. Khazzam.

Fudgie Brownies
1 ⅓ cups all purpose white flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup butter or canola oil
1 cup cocoa
2 cups white sugar
4 eggs
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chopped nuts, (optional)


Preheat oven to 350 O F
1) Stir: flour, baking powder and salt in a small bowl
2) Melt butter
3) Stir in the cocoa
4) Add sugar, eggs and vanilla
5) Mix in dry ingredients
6) For Cookies: scoop about 50 cookies of one tablespoon of batter each on cookie sheet. Bake for about 10 min.
For Brownies: pour batter in 13x9x2 inch baking pan. Bake in oven for 30 to 35 min.


Now, here's what I managed to do with this fabulous recipe:


To start, in general, I don't believe in two-bowl cooking. I feel that any recipe you plan on doing in your home kitchen should be simple enough that it can done in one bowl and cooked in one pan/cooking tray/skull of you enemy/etc. Also, I only own one mixing bowl at the moment... but this recipe was a gift and I was bound and determined to make these brownies.


Ms. Khazzam, for you, I broke out my giant measuring cup and made it double as a bowl. Simple really. I heated up the butter in the measuring cup (I love having a microwave! My man and I found it in the crawl space, left here by some previous owner, and it actually works!) and added the cocoa, eggs, vanilla and sugar. It was a thick, chocolaty, sticky mess that ended up all over my face and apron, but it worked.


Now, for the second problem. I don't own a brownie pan. Also, I didn't know this until I was ready to pour my brownie batter into said, fictitious brownie pan...


Did I:
a) eat the batter raw, Salmonella risk and all?
b) make cookies out of the batter?
c) improvise?

If you picked a or c, then you know me quite well. I did indeed help myself to a thoughtful spoonful of batter as I contemplated my next step. Then I broke out a round, ceramic cooking dish. I think it's actually meant for large soufflés or casseroles.

I gave it a new identity. Welcome to the world, round brownie pan!

Now, there was just one more problem... how long should I bake the 3 1/3 inch deep brownie for? The outside (edges) cooked in the allotted amount of time, but the middle stubbornly remained in pudding form for as long as it could. When the whole thing finally reached a place of 'cooked'-ness, I ran into another problem.

This one is new, even for a kitchen catastrophe like me. Since my dish was ceramic, the brownies kept baking even when they were out of the oven!! I had no clue this was going to happen until I tried to cut up my brownies and found that they were... shall we say, dry?

Milk made them go down just fine, but still... damn you round brownie pan!

Anyway, the recipe is amazing. It's really simple, even with the two bowls and chocolaty like you wouldn't believe!

Cheers!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Eggs Floren-tata

This one was a collaborative effort.

Classes are getting better. I actually feel like I know what the hell my degree is about (informal modes of communication between peoples that inform and mold their communities) and I'm getting through my readings and homework. The skies have been pretty sunny (shocking I know) and the other the day, when it WAS raining, I danced around. I listened to my iPod at the bus stop and danced around in the rain. That is the sign of happier Jenny.

I'm in shock. I'm not supposed to like it. I'm not supposed to be having a good time or making friends in my program (by the way, there are some lovely people in my program). I'm supposed to be angry and miserable and frustrated to the point of throwing myself in front of bus or something. But no... strange as it may seem I was in a tired but good mood yesterday when I got home. I'd given my first in-class presentation that I'd had to make stretch for 30 min and my discussion questions went over well.

Dinner.

My man and I went grocery shopping the other day. The is important because it means that we have (drum roll) INGREDIENTS! That's right folks, I have eggs in the house and milk and spices and cooking oil and other things that normal people have. Huzzah! And do you know why I was able to get all this lovely stuff?
1. Tues are student discount day at Sobeys apparently (whoohoo!)
2. This week was buy one get one!!
I'm not kidding! We bought four cans of diced tomatoes for $2! YEAH!

All this to say, we cooked and we invented.

Originally I was going to make eggs florentine for dinner because we had spinach, but then my man collaborated.


Eggs Floren-tata

Ingredients
4 eggs
several handfuls of spinach
three diced potatoes
half a can of diced tomatoes.

First, put your iTunes on shuffle, tie on that apron and have a little dance around your kitchen. Then heat your oven to somewhere around 400 F, dice and spice those potatoes and put them in the oven (on a cooking sheet).
Dance a little more. If you're lucky, the cute boy playing video games in the other room will come and dance with you while you wait for the potatoes to finish cooking.
I was lucky :)
Next, mix those eggs! Don't put the in the pan yet, though.
Right, heat up a frying pan and wilt some spinach... and because wilting spinach makes a giant handful of spinach seem like nothing... wilt some more spinach!
Add half a can of tomatoes and let simmer to cook off that water.
Add potatoes. (You've danced. They're cooked.)
Add eggs.

Dance some more, because you're happy.

There you have it. Eggs florentine, please meet eggs fratata.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Happiness is... eggs in a shot glass.

Happiness, I've discovered, is a warm cup of tea on a gloomy day and a hot breakfast of eggs and toast.

I'll start with the tea.
Do you know what this warm cup of tea is so delightful to me? It was poured from a teapot. Oh, I can see your brows furrow. One brow may even arch skeptically. You must have an unloved teapot in a cupboard. I bet you only pull it out for show where you've got old, eccentric aunt over. Maybe you pull out this sad little pot for dinner parties just to offer someone tea instead of coffee so that you can seem hospitable.

You do not know the happiness of tea; and I'm sorry for you.

I love coffee. I love the rich earthy flavours and the way cream both contrasts and compliments them. I love hot chocolate with its richness and nostalgia-factor. But more than these I crave tea. I love that it comes in varieties of herbal (which I mostly find disgusting unless drunken clear), black, green, white and red (which I have no love for at all). I love finding a new tea and making a whole pot of it.

Today I have made English Breakfast tea. Black as black tea can get.

Cup 1 - the wake up. This cup is a burst of flavour, savory or sweet on the tongue. It pulls me out of the gloom of the day and into a warm and happy place.
Cup 2 - the experiment. Having drunk my tea clear (that is with no milk or sugar) my second cup is a chance to add little something. Maybe a spot of brandy? Maybe a swirl of honey? Who knows? And most importantly, if you have one around, a biscuit. A very good mate of mine in England taught me the value of dunking a biscuit in tea and I will never forget. :)
Cup 3 - the decision maker. Did I like the tea better clear or with 'stuff' in it? Seeing as we're getting to the bottom of my little orange pot from Winners (thanks wonderful man-friend!) it's time to decide what is the lasting taste I want? Sweet? pure? hot? cold?

So many decisions and choices because of a pot of tea.

Today I have no milk or honey in my home (the promised land eludes me until I do a shop), so clear it is!

Eggs!

They're one of the most perfect forms of protein out there in my opinion. I love them in omelets, I love them scrambled and love they fried. Today I thought I'd be a little more healthy though and go for boiled eggs.
Ingredients
Eggs (2)
Water.

Put water in a pot and bring that water to a boil.
Add eggs and let them boil for... I'm sure there's measured minutes for this. If you want hard boiled eggs I'm pretty sure you leave the eggs for 5 minutes. I have no clue. I just boil mine until I think they've suffered enough.

Then, you put your eggs in a little egg-cup and eat with a spoon... unless you are a broke student. In that case, may I recommend a shot glass? The guy who lived here before us left pretty much all his dishes and selection of shot glasses.

Toast!
I love toast, and frankly, can you blame me? Toast is breakfast. You can add peanut-butter or jam. You can dunk it in your egg yolk. And, best of all, it is the most idiot proof food imaginable... with a toaster.

Right now, I have no toaster, so my wonderful man and I have been developing a method of making toast with a cooking sheet and an oven.... and today I didn't burn anything! Last time I tried this, my toast caught fire and I had to beat the flame with a pot holder.... no more toast :(.

So, there we have it. Aristotle had to write a whole book on the pursuit of happiness. I have given it to you in three words: tea, toast, eggs.

Cheers!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Cheese Biscuits

So, I set the homework aside and I put on that apron. I pulled down my favourite book of recipes. I let the book fall open at random, just to see... and then I flipped through on my own to find a recipe with ingredients I actually had in my house.

Cheese Biscuits. 

Is there a simpler recipe out there, apart from toast? 3 ingredients people. 4 if you're getting fancy with the cheese, which I was not. You have to be a kitchen's worst nightmare to mess these babies up.

I am, apparently, I kitchen's worst nightmare. How, you ask? Well let me tell you. It's all to do with ratios.


Ingredients
3/4 cup flour
1/3 cup butter/margarine
3/4 cup cheese

(SEE? so simple!)

In theory, you use your hands or blender (I don't own a blender, so that one is never an option) to mix all three ingredients together. then you role out the dough and chill it. Then you bake it. TADA!! You have solved the universe's riddle of cheese biscuits. Congratulations! Have a biscuit.

Now, here's what I did. I but in 3/4 cup of margarine to 1/3 cup of flour. And I just couldn't figure out why the consistency was so.... gooey and why my hands were covered in margarine. I glanced at the recipe, just to make sure I had it right, because you know, who screws up cheese biscuits? Right? Then I laughed at myself for a good few minutes and added more flour until the consistency was close to bread crumbs and the cheese mixed in well(ish).

Problem solved!

Problem not solved....

So, here's a fun fact about your oven (I promise it's relevant). Your oven, everyone's oven for that matter has this button/knob/crank/retina-scan that turns up the heat and you can measure that heat in Fahrenheit or Celsius. Recipes will often give you both temperature in case you have a preference. Some books even give you multiple temperature options based on how old your oven is or what brand of baking trays you own. I mean, this is pretty idiot proof stuff. Only a complete moron would set their oven to the wrong temperature after all the hassle their cookbook has gone to of explaining the temperature to them in all its varieties and options.

I am, apparently, a complete moron. Note to self: when the temperature says 190ºC/375ºF, the lower number is the SAME as the higher number. Do not set the oven to 190ºF!!!

So, as you can imagine, I pre-heated the oven, rolled up my biscuits with that wonderful French rolling pin of mine, put my gooey biscuits into the oven and then couldn't figure out why they were taking so long to cook. The recipe said 15-20 min, so why were they still dough after 45 min?

That's when my lovely man-friend noticed my oven error and fixed it (after laughing at me for the better part of a minute).  I was kicked off the kitchen squad and banished to the couch while my man took it open himself to check for when the biscuits were done.

In conclusion, the biscuits are cheesy and herb-y and brittle as crackers. They are dry as a spoonful of cinnamon.... but apparently that is how these sorts of biscuits are SUPPOSED to taste! Yes, despite my best efforts, I did not ruin the biscuits! Although, truth be told, they taste much better with a glass of wine than they'll ever taste on their own.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Right now I should be doing homework

I have a project due on Wednesday I'm meeting my group on Monday to compare notes and make sure that everything is all set for Wednesday. We're leading a discussion on a pile of essays about the founders of the folklore branch (as an academic discipline) and it really could not be any more boring if it was trying!

Is it any wonder that I find myself here on my laptop instead of pouring over a very important and making mildly interesting notes and brain-numbing topic?

And.... I find myself staring at the innocent apron just hanging there in the kitchen.

Bake something Jenny.

No. I'm working on my homework.

But homework is boring. Baking is delicious and can be used as a treat/reward later while you are doing your homework.

Damn it, you make some good points....

Cooking from scraps

What is it about an apron? It's not like I'm putting on armor. Still, after making it through my first official week of classes I found myself putting on my sparkly apron and feeling amazing. As soon as I tied that little knot at the back I felt like I'd suddenly taken control, like I could make it through anything.

One of the first nights that my wonderful man was working late. He essentially moved all the way out the edge of nowhere with me so that I could pursue my dream. The least I could do is make him dinner! Right?

Apron? So soon? I just made cookies. Aren't my cooking talents tapped for a while?

Ah, but there is a difference between baking and cooking, I found myself thinking. What harm could a little chicken pot pie do?

No recipe. No problem.

Chicken Pot Pie (scraps around the kitchen style)

2 chicken thighs
a bowl of frozen veggies
2 thickly chopped carrots
half and onion
some garlic (there's no such thing as too much garlic)

The filling is simple enough. You throw everything in a pan and heat it up. I start by cooking the chicken. I don't even use oil. Meat has its own fats, why not use them to cook with? Next throw in veggies that take the longest time to cook. Thick carrots take a while to soften for instance.

The dough?

Preheat oven to 350ish
2 cups of flour
butter/margarine... enough that when you mix it with the flour you get the consistency of bread crumbs between your fingers

Chill for about half an hour (or as I like to think of it, about an episode of Sex and the City)

Put it all together!
Role out that dough and line a casserole dish with it. Pour in meat and veggies. If you want to add some cream sauce, pour a can of your favourite soup.

Let cook until it smells done :)

 
The timing was perfect. My sweet boyfriend arrived just as was pulling the pot pie out of the oven. Since I started cooking at about 10 at night, that was about 11:30pm. Dinner turned into more of midnight snack, but at least it was delicious.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Reasons to Wear the Apron

So, I have moved. I have moved over several provinces to the most eastern point of Canada that I could. Why? Certainly not for my sanity or some ridiculous deep-seeded passion to be rained on every five minutes. No, I moved for school. I'm currently going after an MA in a small but prestigious program. It is this, and this alone, that could have driven me to move to Newfoundland.

What's more, my angel of a boyfriend came with me.

What's more(er) this whole adventure got off to a rocky start when we got lost driving from the airport to our new home, We then discovered that our new home was way too isolated from St. John's, on top of an obscene hill that would require a ski-doo in the winter (I was contemplating a toboggan) and a 30 min walk from any public transportation.

No.

Just, no.

Now, after a hectic week that no one needs to hear about, we are settled into a sweet, basement apartment with two bedroom and tiny kitchen. We unpacked, moved furniture, plugged in electronics, bought groceries etc. etc.

And then I noticed a hook on the kitchen wall. I imagine that this hook was meant for a frying pan or some such thing, but I decided that it would be the perfect spot for my apron. Have I ever mentioned my apron before? Probably not. It's new. It's also handmade by FyreFairee designs (an amazing seamstress in Australia I had the pleasure of living with when I was at school in Eng) and covered in sparkly polkadots. I love my apron... and I have yet to love Newfoundland.

With these two elements combined I have been doing what one is never supposed to do in a foreign land - bake. What is that saying? Good for the soul and bad for the hips. Yes that's it. Not only will you feel completely out of place in your new, unsatisfying home but you will also feel out of place in your jeans. What's a girl to do?

Well, here's out it all began.
1. I arrive early at my first day of work... and realized that I forgot my mandatory work shoes.
2. I was out of bus money on my metropass, so I had to take a half hour walk home.
3. It was raining... sideways. Effing wind.
4. After work, I went to my first class.
5. My bus (I found change) was 15 min late and I was only JUST on time for my class.
6. Everyone in that program is 10x more qualified to be there than I am.

Apron.

Sugar Cookies!
2 cups of butter
2 cups of sugar
2 eggs
a splash of vanilla (I don't believe in measuring every little thing.)
a few pinches of backing powder
4 1/2 cups of flour

Cream the butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla. (I was fortunate enough that my man was boiling noodles, so I used the pot and my mixing bowl like a double boiler to soften up the butter.)
Next, add the dry ingredients a bit at a time and mix thoroughly. (don't be prissy, get your hands in there for the best mixing.)
Chill the dough. (I have no trick for this. I sit and watch something until my brain goes 'dough?')

bake at 350/75 C depending on your oven. I made my cookies in the shape of moose, porcupines and other fun Canadian animals with the help of the best cookie cutters ever and a french rolling pin that I willing spent $8 on (I promise I bought pretty much everything else at the Dollarama to justify this purchase).


The apron hangs in her spot once more, waiting to comfort my next bad day. I'm thinking homemade chicken soup ;) But only time will tell.