I have this theory that if Death is a skeleton in a black cloak, then Doubt is his smarmy second cousin no one talks about at the family reunion.
I know this of course because Doubt has taken up residence in my house. He eats my chips, crunches on my carrots and reads over my shoulder all the time. You see I sort of picture Doubt as this husky, balding man with clammy hands that you would never want to touch.
Every time I look at a potential university website or make any concrete steps in planning my career, he's right there; and he always sounds so worried. Actually I can't tell if he's genuinely worried or just trying to make me feel nervous.
Do you really think you're qualified for that?
Ooooh, I don't know if that's the tone you're going for?
Black and brown in the same outfit? Really?
You don't want to travel all the way THERE do you? Think of all the bad things that could happen?
Most the time his voice just leaves a lingering but resounding question mark in my brain until I'm so scared that I close all the windows to my internet browser and have a panic attack. I will never amount to anything significant. I will never leave my stamp on the world. I will never change someone's life and I will never perfect my chocolate cake recipe.
I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. Maybe Doubt is couch surfing and living with you as well (the mooching bastard). Maybe he ruins your perfectly lovely weekends as well? If this is the case, then I hope you will join me in this next step: The Eviction Notice.
Dear Tenant (hereafter to be referred to as Doubt),
It has come to my attention that you have been residing in my house free of charge for the past several months, if not years. One of the following must happen:
1. You will vacate my premises immediately.
2. You will start paying rent (this may be done in the form of positive affirmation towards all my future. endeavors)
Failure to comply will result in death by cat/leviathan/my own self-esteem finally kicking in.
In short, get the hell out of life, Doubt!
Sincerely,
The Management
I'll keep you posted on the results.
